The people have spoken

I’ve always said that this website will continue to thrive for as long as people want it to.

While I earnestly hoped it wouldn’t come to this, it’s now clear beyond any shadow of a doubt: this is not the kind of journalism Malta wants.

For the past three years, I did everything I reasonably could to bring this vision to life. A fully independent outlet that takes no prisoners.

In its entire lifetime, this weird, wild experiment that pushed just about every boundary in Malta’s media landscape reached 84,000 unique users. Across all platforms, we’ve accumulated hundreds of thousands of views.

Of course, these are rookie numbers in this racket. Nonetheless, the fact is that all of the work you see on this website was largely done by one guy with a laptop and a camera, along with a few collaborations with like-minded people who came and went. Comparing me with a corporate newsroom is like comparing your local monti with Amazon.

For a while, it seemed that there was enough support to push towards a new phase of development. I spent an entire summer chasing potential donors who had signaled their interest at some point in time.

The reality of it is that people talk a lot, but hardly ever bother to put their money where their mouth is.

On paper, everybody admires a rebel for risking everything to fight for a just cause. In this temple of madness that we actually exist in, very few even dare to consider risking their own everything.

If compliments for my work were a source of nourishment, I would have become a ripe, fat bastard by now. Every time I’ve issued a call for donations and/or signaled financial distress to my readers by way of an update, I spend the rest of the day reading messages from people who want me to keep going.

However, there is a massive gap between people who want me to keep going and people who actually helped me do that. In spite of my best efforts, I have not been able to persuade enough people to turn words into action. In fact, less than 0.1% of the people who visited this website actually decided to donate.

The fact is that I can no longer sustain this platform. I may be stubborn, but even I am not stubborn enough to keep banging my head against a wall that just won’t budge.

There are, of course, plenty of reasons why this happened. Some are external and beyond my control, others less so. I am not perfect and I am sure that there are plenty of things I could have done better. But, we’re not conducting an autopsy here, and there’s no point to crying over spilled milk, either. The point is that this is where we are right now, and the time to change the situation for the better has passed.

The point is that I tried my very best to give the country the kind of journalism I firmly believed it needed, and there weren’t enough people who thought the same thing.

To be clear, this project isn’t at this terminal stage because of a lack of interest on my behalf, though I understand that my tone may come across in that manner.

The truth is that I’d enjoy nothing more than getting the opportunity to continue spiting the rich and the powerful with my caustic writing.

I’m just tired of having to explain the value of what I do to people who seem to get it but choose not to get involved in it, simply because their privilege affords them the luxury of doing so.

So, here’s what’s going to happen from this point onward.

The website and all its data is here to stay and free to use for anyone who wishes to cite it as a source of information. As for myself, well – I’m honestly struggling to come to terms with having to take such a massive loss after investing everything in this project, but I’ll live.

I am fortunate enough to have a strong support system in my life, and although it will take time to move on and adapt to new circumstances, I am honestly relieved at the thought of no longer having to constantly worry about whether I’ll be able to pay rent next month.

The last three years of my life revolved around putting this project’s needs above my own. I have zero regrets and leave my post with my head held high. Regardless of what I do next, I can proudly say that I carved out a space for the kind of journalism that shouldn’t even exist in such harsh conditions to begin with.

None of this would have been possible without the support of the brave few who did donate and make their support for me publicly known.

You are the only group of people who I did not wish to disappoint. I will always be grateful to each and every one of you who selflessly shared their hard earned money to fund a ruthless quest for the truth.

I hope you understand that it has not been easy for me to come to terms with this decision. At this point, it isn’t even a decision – it’s a necessity. Any thoughts about continuing this without serious financial support are just delusions. If I were able to continue carrying this heavy burden alone, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.

Though there is a part of me that is quietly whispering to itself about maybe returning to this project if and when things get better, I won’t insult your intelligence with such a vague, non-committal standpoint.

The reality is that the people have chosen what kind of journalism they want to engage with, and it is certainly not my version of it. Whatever anyone – including myself – thinks about this, a fact is a fact.

It’s been an honour and a privilege to serve in this role, and I am comforted by the knowledge that my work as a journalist served to inspire others to take on the powers that be.

To those who stood by me at some point, to those who witnessed firsthand what it was like to commit to this herculean effort at great personal cost, I say – thank you for shouldering this burden with me.

May the bulletproof ideas that inspired this project continue to live on through others who come across it.

It’s been one hell of a ride.