An explanation

You may be wondering about why you didn’t see our usual hospitals concession court case coverage on Wednesday.

Well, the long and short of it is that it appears I am both shit out of luck and full of it, all at once.

On my way to court on Wednesday, I had an accident with a bike that left my knee’s soft tissue damaged. The whole situation is a bit more complex than just that, and I’d like to take the time to explain it. This is obviously your cue to stop reading if you came here to get the latest – I am merely providing an explanation for my absence.

You may remember that, about two months ago, I was forced to take a week-long hiatus from this website.

At the time, I didn’t explain what the nature of the issue was because I felt like it was a private matter. Now, I would like to explain what happened that day as well, because the events of that week and this one are interconnected and must be spoken of accordingly.

That week-long hiatus was necessary because I was recovering from an accident that same week. It happened after a month of almost daily court hearings. That time, I was driving my car, which has since gone to scrapyard heaven (RIP, Bridget).

This time, I was doing another working marathon – I was in court on Wednesday, did an overnight shift from Wednesday to Thursday, and then was heading straight to court again on Thursday. Though this may seem like an insane working schedule (and it is), it was par for the course throughout this summer. It was the only way I could keep up with a relentless schedule while earning enough money to survive.

In other words, over the past two months, I literally almost worked myself to death. Twice. I can say that with certainty because both accidents happened because of the kind of mistakes you make when your brain is fried from sleep deprivation.

To be very clear, I should have made the right call and avoided driving altogether, though I was hard-pressed to find alternatives on both occasions. As things stand, I am in a financial trap – if I don’t do two to three night shifts a week, I won’t have enough monthly income to survive. If I find other work with more regular hours, it automatically interferes with the daily working hours that I must commit to journalism. So, the solution was to regularly work anywhere from 20 to 40 hours a week at night and do as much journalism work as I can with what’s left.

Having said that, let me state it explicitly to be sure – this column is not some bizarre attempt at absolving myself of my own responsibility in encumbering myself too much, but rather a means to an end. I want to pull the curtain and show you what is behind the scenes.

I want this website’s followers to know what kind of sacrifices had to be made to preserve the integrity and independence of this project. I want you, dear reader, to understand that I mean every word I say when I talk about my commitment to the values which inspired this website. I also hope that an honest self-assessment exercise of this kind will serve as a stark reminder of the dangers of living like your body is indestructible when, essentially, we’re all just complicated sacks of meat with an expiry date.

If you’re new to this website, I bet one of the first things you noticed is the total lack of advertising. All you’ll find on this digital real estate is journalism (and the occasional personal note like the one you are reading right now). You will also find a lack of government-friendly content, largely because this government is the most corrupt administration we’ve ever seen in our independent history and therefore, one that should be kept at a distance at all times. We do not negotiate with people who sold our country out. No ifs, no buts.

I have been committed to the values of transparency, integrity, and honesty all my life, and I certainly do not intend to change that when it comes to the kind of work I do, especially in a country that is starving for irreverent journalism. I preferred to sacrifice my own well-being instead of sacrificing the independence of this project.

Of course, none of this is sustainable, and I am not planning on tempting fate another time. As I lay shivering from the pain and shock in the accident and emergency room last Wednesday, all I could think of was that I must stop pushing myself to these limits and make sure this project becomes viable before it kills me. On that note, I have a plan which you will be hearing about shortly – all I ask in advance is that, if you wish to help, please reach out, as I will need as many hands on deck as possible.

For now, I would just like you to know that your patience and understanding are appreciated greatly in this dire hour, that I will likely be able to walk properly again in a few weeks’ time, and that I will yet again be coming back to this with all my might, because this is my mission and nobody will stop me from doing it.

In the meantime, stay with us, folks. We’ve got big plans coming up and we’re super excited to share them with you.